Silent Love
by maknae123
Summary: It's difficult for Kurogane to openly admit his love, but Fai doesn't need words to understand. Post-series. Smut, fluff, PWP(kind of...?)


**this definitely isn't my first fanfiction, but this is my first anime fanfic in a long time so yeah, bear with me. i was just suddenly having kurofai feels a few days ago and i felt like writing something. it's weird to be writing for anime again! but it's nice too**

**so i'm really into Kurogane being all "i love you but i'm too proud to actually say i love you so i'm going to kind of act like i hate you but we all know i love you" with Fai. when Kurogane is too kind, I guess, I don't really like it. but don't worry, there is some kind/fluffy Kurogane near the end.**

**enjoy!**

**...**

"Would you get off of me?"

"Wah~ Kuro-puu is so mean to mama~"

Mokona snickered from her spot on Syaoran's shoulder, watching as Fai pulled on Kurogane's arm to try and get them to hold hands. Kurogane, however, refused and continued to clench his hands into fists. He didn't make Fai stop holding onto his arm, though.

The two had realized their mutual feelings for each other after Fai had lost his eye. Fai realized his own feelings when Kurogane refused to let him die, when he held the blonde close and wouldn't let him go until he knew he would live. It made Fai happy to know that Kurogane cared so much, but more than that, it made Fai happy that it was Kurogane holding him like that. Even though he was begging to die, he couldn't help but feel comfort and peace when being cradled by Kurogane's surprisingly gentle hands.

As for Kurogane, he felt the feelings blossom completely in his chest when he saw Fai, hanging limply from that other Syaoran's bloody hands. He could see the mage struggling to breathe, blood falling from one of his eyes like tears. And all he could think was no, he couldn't just let Fai die like that. He imagined Fai dying and felt the same anger he had felt when his parents were killed explode inside of him and did anything he could to protect him, to keep him alive.

And when Fai was later begging to his life to be taken away, when Kurogane angrily picked the mage up by the collar of his shirt, they both saw the same thing when they looked into the others' eyes. And when Kurogane dropped Fai and gave up the price of being a free man—being bound to Fai for possibly the rest of his life—Fai knew.

He knew that he had gotten too close.

So when he was turning into a vampire—against his will, he thought angrily—he let himself have a few more moments to cling to Kurogane, to feel those large hands hold him and keep him safe and soothe some of the pain his body was going through.

But when he awoke, he knew he had to stop and keep his distance and kill those feelings before they become uncontrollable.

So, Fai had started to distance himself from the taller man. He tried to become cold and detached.

But when they were leaving Celes, when the world was collapsing around them and he knew that in order for his friends to leave then he would have to die, he knew he couldn't distance himself any longer.

Not after Kurogane cut off his own arm as an exchange for Fai's life.

First he agreed to become bound to Fai and then he willingly chopped off his own arm for him? Fai knew there was no way he could just ignore that. The only person who had ever given him more was his poor brother, who gave up his life.

So when Kurogane awoke in Nipon, Fai wanted Kurogane to know that he was appreciated, and that Fai didn't want him to go anywhere.

"That's payback, Kuro-sama," Fai said with a teasing smirk.

Kurogane gave the same smirk back, not even caring that Fai had used a nickname. In fact, he was happy that Fai had used the nickname. "You bastard, I'll kick your ass!"

After Tomoyo left, the two didn't say anything to each other. They sat so close that Fai's arm was pressed against Kurogane's arm, and came to a mutual understanding of each other.

And the two knew that they couldn't pursue a relationship. Not with everything happening. If they confessed their feelings openly and made it real, it would be that much harder if one of them happened to die in the following battles.

So they tried to satisfy each other with lingering stares and fleeting touches, only allowing themselves to get closer than that when Fai had to feed from Kurogane's wrist or neck.

But when the battle was won, when Fei Wang Reed was gone and things were returned to normal, the two simply looked at each other because it was finally _over._

And that night, when everything was figured out and they were given a place to rest, Fai insisted that he and Kurogane could share a room to keep anyone from going through too much trouble, and Kurogane didn't object.

That night, they didn't do anything but simply hold each other. There were two beds, and when Kurogane came into the bedroom after getting his wounds dressed, he saw Fai lying on his side on the bed closest to the window, his body close to the edge and leaving enough room for another body. So Kurogane climbed into bed with him, wrapped his real arm around Fai, and neither of them said anything the whole night.

And they both knew that they wanted to travel together, and with Syaoran and Mokona, of course, so there they were, travelling worlds with Syaoran until maybe they found a place where they could settle down together. Fai's eye was back and they had gone back to Piffle to get Kurogane a new arm that was even more high-tech than the last one. With the one he had now, the new nerve endings made it seem like he didn't even have a fake arm. Not only could he move the prosthetic like a real limb, but now he could feel things too—like Fai's soft skin.

Now they were walking down the streets of a world they had been in for a few hours. It was a nice world that had houses and electricity and wasn't too far behind in terms of technology, which Fai loved because if there was one thing he liked, it was tinkering around with random electronics.

They had bought new clothes and were walking back to the apartment they had rented. It had two bedrooms and since their new travels started, Syaoran had always shared a room with Mokona. Fai never said anything about it, but Kurogane figured that the boy sensed something different between them.

And there was something different because they were… Official. Kurogane hated to think of them as boyfriends because it sounded so… teenage girl, but that's what they were. A couple. They slept in the same bed and kissed and held hands (when they were alone). The only thing they haven't done is… it.

But Fai wanted to change that. He had waited so long, damn it. He didn't want to wait another night.

So that night, after dinner, Fai went to bed early to… prepare things. He undressed himself and slipped into a silky robe that would easily come off with just a pull from the sash wrapped around it. He smiled and looked in the mirror. It kind of reminded him of the clothes he had worn when he was in Nipon. Maybe, after a while, they could go back there to live together.

About an hour later, Kurogane walked through the door, surprised to see the mage sitting up in bed, reading a book. "I thought you were going to bed," He said as he shrugged off the light jacket he had been wearing all day and took off his shoes.

"I'm in bed, aren't it?" Fai asked with a sly grin.

Kurogane rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed, turning his body a bit to look at Fai. "Aren't you tired?"

Fai shrugged and closed his book. "Not really." He smiled and moved to get onto his hands and knees to crawl towards Kurogane. "Wanna tire me out, Kuro-sama?"

Fai saw Kurogane swallow and watched as his red eyes darted away from his own. "J-Just go to bed, idiot," He mumbled.

Fai moved until he was kneeling next to Kurogane, leaning in close so that his lips were near the bigger man's ear. "Why? Are you embarrassed, papa?"

Kurogane's body felt numb and all he could do was watch as Fai moved to straddle him, his long fingers reaching behind his head to undo the tie keeping his hair back. Kurogane watched, mesmerized, as Fai's hair slipped out of its confine and spilled onto his shoulders. Fai got it trimmed occasionally to keep it from getting too long, causing the ends to brush just a bit past his shoulders.

Kurogane couldn't help himself as he reached up and ran his fingers through the golden waves. Fai's hair was so silky smooth, even though he hadn't had the chance to shower in a couple of days. Kurogane had never felt hair so soft and smooth—not even his mother's hair was as nice as Fai's.

Fai tilted his head back a bit and Kurogane watched as more hair spilled over his fingers. Kurogane couldn't deny that he had a fixation with Fai's hair. He touched it at whatever chance he could, even if he just tugged playfully at the ponytail when Fai was getting annoying. But touching it like this was always his favorite; when they were in private and he could openly run his fingers through the strands that never seemed to have any tangles.

"Does Kuro-puu have a hair fetish?" Fai eventually asked teasingly. It's not like he minded—he absolutely loved feeling Kurogane's calloused but gentle hands running through his hair and massaging his scalp.

Kurogane gave something reminiscent of a growl and leaned in, capturing Fai's lips in his own. Fai smiled into the kiss and reached up to grip Kurogane's short hair, bringing their bodies closer. He felt Kurogane reach behind him with his fake arm to support himself as he began to move back. Eventually, he was pressed against the headboard, his hands resting on Fai's hips.

Fai pulled away and panted quietly, his eyes raking over Kurogane's face as Kurogane did the same. They dove back in for more and Fai reached down to unbotton the shirt that Kurogane was wearing. He loved it when Kurogane let him pick out his clothes. He loved picking out tight pants and shirts, which cling to Kurogane's body and let Fai's imagination run wild.

Kurogane shrugged the shirt off of his shoulders and threw it onto the floor carelessly. He reached down and tugged at the sash keeping Fai's robe close, pulling away so that he could watch as the fabric fell open. He tried not to look surprised when he saw Fai's pale skin but _damn_ he wasn't expecting the mage to be completely naked.

Fai reached down and undid Kurogane's pants, pushing them down as Kurogane's hands pushed Fai's robe off of his shoulders and then spread over Fai's chest. Fai tilted his head and bit his lip, feeling Kurogane's rough-from-fighting fingers graze over his nipples. Kurogane leaned in and began sucking and lightly biting the skin on Fai's neck, feeling the mage squirm under him.

Kurogane lifted Fai onto his knees so that his face was level with Fai's chest and took one of the pert nipples into his mouth, trying not to groan when he heard Fai cry out. Fai's arms wrapped around his head and gripped his hair to keep him there, so Kurogane bit the bud gently and then licked it to soothe the pain.

Fai mewled and moaned, a gasp leaving his lips when Kurogane's mouth left his nipple, causing the air to hit it and send a chill down his spine. Kurogane moved to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment as the first.

Kurogane's hands roamed all over Fai's body before eventually landing right above Fai's butt. He pulled away from Fai's chest and Fai pulled back a bit so that they could look at each other. Kurogane was surprised when he saw Fai's flushed face and hazy eyes. He knew that Fai blushed easily because of his pale skin (something he saw every time Fai got drunk), but this was different. The redness went straight over Fai's nose and all the way back to his ears, and his eyes looked huge with lust.

Fai bit his lower lip and sat himself onto Kurogane's lap, grinding his hips down a bit and feeling Kurogane's arousal pressing through his underwear.

"So… How?" Kurogane said in a low, quiet voice, the natural gruffness sending chills down Fai's spine.

Fai lifted his fingers and drew some symbols into the air. Fai had gotten much more comfortable using his magic and seemed to use it all the time. Sometimes, when he was feeling extra annoying, he would whistle what seemed like an innocent tune which would then allow him to take control of Kurogane and send him off to do embarrassing things.

Kurogane thought of all the annoying things Fai did as he watched a small bottle materialize right in front of his eyes. Sometimes he felt as though he couldn't stand Fai, but he knew that nothing Fai did could get him to want to leave him. When Fai acted annoying, Kurogane knew he was happy. When Fai laughed because Kurogane got mad, Kurogane knew it was a genuine smile on his face, one that would make him forget why he was angry and smile as well. It was when Fai wasn't annoying that Kurogane had to worry. There were many times when Fai's silence alone let him know that something was wrong, and when they were alone he took the responsibility of comforting Fai.

Fai grabbed the bottle and looked at Kurogane. "Why are you staring?"

Kurogane snapped out of his trance and blinked, reaching up to touch Fai's cheek suddenly. Fai seemed surprised at first, but then leaned his cheek into Kurogane's hand. Kurogane reached up and Fai shut his eyes as Kurogane's fingers carefully touched the skin near Fai's left eye, brushing the hair away that covered it.

He had been so happy when Fai had gotten his magic back, when Fai's blue eyes returned and when he could truly feel Fai's power. And now Fai seemed happier—he seemed to look at magic as a gift now, one that he didn't want to waste.

Fai reached up and grabbed the hand on his face, bringing it in front of him and opening the bottle. A light scent wafted up to Kurogane and he didn't know what exactly to call it, but for some reason, it reminded him of Fai.

Fai tilted the bottle and the two watched as clear, thick liquid poured out onto Kurogane's hand. Fai closed the bottle and threw it to the floor. He spread the liquid over Kurogane's fingers, slicking up his own hand in the process, and then brought Kurogane's hand down, guiding it to his entrance.

Kurogane swallowed, getting the hint, and prodded at the small, quivering hole to effectively wet it before slowly slipping one finger in. The two gasped at the same time, both from the feeling. Fai's eyes shut tightly as he felt Kurogane's long finger push into him and then pull out slowly only to push back in. Kurogane bit the inside of his cheek at the feeling of his finger being sucked into that tight, searing heat. His cock throbbed in his underwear and he wished he could just fuck the mage there, but if there was one thing he would never forgive himself for, it would be hurting Fai.

When it became easier for Kurogane to thrust his finger, he added a second, pushing them in and pulling them apart to stretch Fai effectively. Kurogane watched Fai's face as he worked his fingers. When Fai's morphed from discomfort to pleasure, Kurogane added a third finger, and then eventually a fourth.

Fai suddenly cried out and dug his nails into Kurogane's shoulders. "Fuck, right there," He moaned.

Kurogane cocked a brow, not used to hearing the mage curse, but decided he liked it and began to thrust his fingers at the same angle.

"Stop," Fai ordered in a breathy voice. "I want more." He looked at Kurogane with half-lidded eyes. "I need you."

Kurogane swallowed and nodded, pulling his fingers out and pushing his underwear off. Fai reached down with his slick hand and began stroking Kurogane's length, spreading the liquid over it until it was gleaming. Kurogane put his hands onto Fai's hips, watching as the smaller male swallowed and reached under him to grab Kurogane's cock.

Kurogane watched hungrily as Fai took one more breath and then began pushing down slowly. Kurogane watched as the head of his cock breached Fai's entrance, stretching the ring of muscles to accommodate his size. The sight and the feeling of Fai all around him made his eyes slip close and his head fall back, landing with a soft thud on the headboard.

He heard Fai's shaky, shallow breaths as he impaled himself more and Kurogane rubbed his lower back soothingly. He knew that it must hurt, and he felt bad for feeling so good.

Eventually, Fai was completely seated on Kurogane, his hands on the warrior's chest and the pads of his fingers digging into his skin. Kurogane stared at Fai, wanting to imprint the image into his head. The mage's eyes shut tightly, most of his beautiful hair sticking up in its natural waves and some sticking to his forehead, cheeks, and neck because of sweat.

Kurogane was sure he had never seen something so beautiful.

Fai slowly opened his eyes and the two locked gazes as Fai's hips slowly lifted and then lowered again. Kurogane groaned involuntarily at the feeling and gripped Fai's hips tighter. He was sure it would bruise a bit, but he didn't care. He needed to grip something, and he didn't want to tear the bed sheets.

Fai continued at the same, slow pace, and then eventually Kurogane pushed his own hips up to meet Fai's, causing him to go even deeper into that heat. Fai cried out and reached up to cover his mouth as his hips began moving faster along with Kurogane's.

Kurogane could tell from the way Fai desperately tried to hide his cries of pleasure that he was hitting his sweet spot with each thrust. Fai eventually bit into his knuckle, hissing from pleasure.

"Oh, god," He gasped. "Kurogane…"

Kurogane snapped his hips up harder, making Fai scream in pleasure. Hearing Fai say his name—his full name—like that… He felt even more aroused. Fai wasn't saying it to distance himself from Kurogane like last time, he was saying it to bring them even closer.

They moved faster together, Kurogane's hips moving harder to make Fai cry out his name even more.

"Nn… I… Close…" Fai managed to gasp, his ability to form coherent sentences thrown out the window.

Kurogane nodded and groaned. "Me too…"

Kurogane opened his eyes to watch Fai, his head tilted back and his eyes shut tightly. Kurogane's eyes widened when he felt something crack around them like electricity and saw Fai's eyes open slowly, the bright blue seeming to almost glow.

Kurogane understood immediately—Fai's magic. It rushed through the air between them, surged through both of their veins and as Fai cried out and came across Kurogane's chest, the warrior felt for a moment as if he had magic too.

Kurogane's head fell back as he came, burying himself deep into Fai and bringing the mage down to bury his face into his neck as he groaned quietly and let out a shaky breath.

The two stayed in that position for a few minutes as they panted, and Kurogane could feel the magic fizzle away. Fai eventually leaned back and looked at him, giving a goofy smile and looking exhausted.

Kurogane helped the mage climb off of him and stood up to run to the bathroom and get a wet washcloth to clean themselves up a bit. Fai watched as Kurogane cleaned him, not even blushing when Kurogane cleaned between his legs.

"Hey, Kuro-sama?" Fai said as Kurogane wiped Fai's seed off of his chest.

"Mm?" Kurogane grunted.

"I love you."

Kurogane's eyes widened, but when he looked up at Fai, he had his usual stoic expression back on. Fai looked down, looking embarrassed for the first time since Kurogane had met him.

"Do… You love me?" Fai asked cautiously.

Kurogane felt his neck and ears burn. He was a warrior, the strongest from his country! He couldn't just say he loved someone that easily. But… He did love Fai. So how did he let Fai know?

Fai was surprised when Kurogane kissed him gently and the lied down next to him, wrapping his real arm around him to pull him to his chest.

"So… You do love me?" Fai asked, a smile slowly pulling his lips up.

Kurogane simply grunted in affirmation, and Fai smiled, resting his head on Kurogane's chest to go to sleep.

He didn't need anything more than that for an answer.


End file.
